What made me decide to write this post was an enlightened conversation with my sister in-law through which I came to the realization that there is so much more to me than the typecast I often get labelled as, which is “nice”. I am compassionate, confident, I can be a smart ass, I have times when I am annoyed very easily and other times when I have all the patience in the world. I think most people can agree that alot of us tend to cling to the label we are given by others whether it be “Type A”, “outgoing”, “geeky”, “nice” etc. and rather than exploring and really taking the time to understand and appreciate our other traits, we settle for what we are told we are and therefore continually present ourselves in that one dimension.
In my life I have always been taught to act a certain way. To act in a way as to never offend or hurt anyone, a way to make others feel pleased. What I have grown to realize throughout my last few years of self discovery is that although I still find peace and pleasure in making others happy, I cannot make it my JOB to make other people feel that way. Each person has to choose their own happiness, trying to do that for someone else is too big a burden to bare and in my experience it often leaves me disappointed and around people who use me for my “niceness” and drain my positive energy.
What I now do instead of doing things FOR others, is LISTEN to them. Hear about their hopes and dreams, support them and celebrate with them when they succeed. Then THEY are doing things FOR themselves and creating their own happiness. They are generally proud of themselves and appreciate me being there for them.
Through doing things as simple as distancing myself (not making others happiness MY mission) and listening, I’ve found that I am respecting them as well as myself, more! I have discovered I have more patience for others and that I am becoming an all around more confident woman.
I hope this post has inspired you to take some time to reflect and to be honest with yourself about where you need to put in some work. I hope you feel excited and passionate about the direction you’re headed in!